A Long Distance Marriage Ends in Tears (and many complications for the poor husband)

One man agreed to get married to a woman who had set the precondition that he and she would have to live separately for some time after the wedding, and that subsequently she would move in with him. Such a condition should always be viewed suspiciously because it is very difficult for a woman to voluntarily live away from her husband (or vice-versa) at the initial stages of a marriage. What motivates a newly married person to voluntarily endure long periods of separation between short episodes of physical and emotional closeness? Some sort of hidden facts or mental pathology are quite likely in such cases in my humble opinion.

The problem in long distance marriages is that fights do not get resolved, resentment builds up, and the marriage collapses. These are not really marriages, but are situations created by social pressure or greed. The saving grace in the case below appears to be a violation of the statute of limitations by the wife –rendering her suit liable for dismissal in case of opposition.

Hi Manish
I read your article online and got impressed by your clear views and your specialization on 498A. I am writing to seek some advice on the similar matter.

I got married in early 2007. At the time of marriage my wife was working in a different city and kept on working even after the wedding. She used to visit me and my parents house (both in different cities). Since the beginning me and my family asked and tried for her to move into the same city with me. But she was never interested and gradually the differences started to widen between the two of us.

During this period she gave birth to a girl at her parents' residence in 2009. I have never even seen the child till date.

Later, in late 2009 she filed a complaint against me and my family in the police station for harassment and dowry. This went to the women's cell for mediation and later back to the police station. At the same time to safeguard me and my family we put a request in the court that we want her to come back to my house with the kid.

While all this was going on, I got a chance to go overseas and left. My lawyer got all the cases dismissed as both the parties failed to be present physically.

Since 2010 I am staying outside the country and she is living with her parents and working in a private company. And in all these years we have never contacted them by any means. Now I have become a Permanent Resident but still hold Indian Passport.

Just this month my family has served us with a court warrant under section 498A, 323, 506 and 3/4 DP Act which named my brother, my parents and myself, and required us to be produced in the court at the end of this month. My family investigated a little bit and found that she filed the case directly to the court and by bribing some person she prevented the notices from reaching my family.

1. Now, in this case what is the first thing we have to do?
2. Do I have to come immediately back to India and face arrest?
3. Will the court seize my passport and if so, then for how long?
4. What are the next immediate steps law will take?
One of the thing suggested by friends is to immediately file a divorce case without any delays. (And one important thing is that in my country of residence I have never disclosed the fact of my marriage). And my wife does not know about my country of residence as well.

As in most of these cases, how they can be settled without compromising (sic)?

I would like to say thanks to you in advance for your time and effort in reading and responding back. Hope this will help in fight against legal crime sdone using 498A.

thanks and regards
Ram Avtar


Dear Ram Avtar
This is the result of living separately after getting married. It is a major mistake. You need to apply for divorce and to stay in touch with the investigating officer. Further she seems to have exceeded the period indicated in the statute of limitations for filing a 498a complaint, which is liable to be dismissed because of not being maintainable in such situations.

Manish Udar

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Last updated on 07th October 2014
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