Typical Wives who make 498a Complaints
Many wives make 498a complaints. There are many types of wives who make complaints in the police departments called SPUWAC or CAW cell. Some of these types are described below.
"I would lock you up
But I could not bear to hear you
Screaming to be set free
I would chain you up
If I'd thought you'd swear
The only one that mattered was me, me, me
I would strap you up
But don't worry baby
You know I wouldn't hurt you 'less you wanted me tо"
— Wham! –The Edge of Heaven
The first type of wife who makes a 498a complaint is the genuine sufferer. This type is put in the first position by us because this type of wife deserves the most sympathy, and not because such complainants are the most numerous. Such wives come to the CAW cell to seek justice, and if they can prove their case in court, then they can secure the conviction of their husband or in-laws or both. To be considered a real victim by the law for the purpose of this section, a woman must needs have suffered cruelty which is directly related to a dowry demand, or cruelty of a narrowly defined variety. Good luck to her.
The second type of wife who makes a 498a complaint is the narcissistic wife, a selfish wife. She only cares about her own feelings, and has no respect for the feelings of her husband or in-laws, and wants to send them to jail. The complaint that this woman makes, the charges that this woman lays are usually false. There is a possibility that she believes that her charges are true, because sufferers of NPD (see next paragraph) often believe their own version of the truth ardently. The greed for money is so powerful that she forgets about her anger if she is offered the right price and in the end wants to extract money from the man who she had taken marriage vows with once upon a time or not very long ago. She can fake injuries to make her case stronger.
Her parents may be equally narcissistic (selfish) and they also want to extract money from the son-in-law to whom they had gifted their daughter by calling him their closest relative or by calling him the avtaar of lord Vishnu at the seven pheras. They do not mind if their son-in-law is forced to spend some time in police custody, or is harassed by police, courts, lawyers, and his own wife. This is the example of legal terrorism. It may be quite possible that the whole family of the bride suffers from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
Very often such people are accused of suffering from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). But this is not true. BPD patients are needy (and victims), not callous (and victimisers). The situation is confusing because the same person may suffer from both NPD and BPD. There is a very high comorbidity in these personality disorders, which is to say that they occur very often in the same person. But in some people the borderline traits are subsidiary and narcissistic traits are dominant. While in other people the reverse is true.
Another type of patient is one in whom the BPD and NPD traits emerge alternately. Such a person may have attempted suicide, and in the same life may have driven someone to attempt suicide, depending upon whether they were in a relationship with an emotionally stronger or weaker person.
The type of person who is commonly called the high functioning BPD patient is actually an NPD patient. They like to make false accusations. It is in their nature. The dual-morbid person can be often recognised by the fact of having undergone more than two or three career changes, while the pure BPD patient is likely to have undergone long periods of unemployment. The NPD sufferer never waits for their partner to signal to them that their relationship is finished before starting a simultaneous relationship with another person. They may also 'love' one person and marry another. They are highly prone to extra-marital relationships. It is almost axiomatic. The NPD also says often that he needs his or her space in a relationship, and may make false stalking accusations.
Another thing about NPD is its possible comorbidity with AsPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder), which is the disorder which criminals suffer from, which sends its patient to jail if the law acts quickly or efficiently. NPD and AsPD are highly comorbid (they affect the same person) because the main defining trait in both the disorders is the same, which is a blatant disregard for the feelings of others. So if a person or a family suffers from narcissism / selfishness, you can justifiably suspect that he/she is a criminal or that they are criminals.
Here the definition of a criminal is not that they have committed a crime which violates some section of the IPC, but that they have no regard for the feelings of their own relatives. If you want to argue that only people who violate some section of the IPC are criminals, then consider the fact that making false accusations is a violation of many sections of IPC, and that abetment to making false allegations is also a violation of one section of the IPC.
For confirmation of AsPD or/plus NPD diagnosis (selfish and/or criminals) ask the following questions. Give one point for each answer. Do they own a gun or a gun license? What is the opinion of their respected and long-standing neighbours about them (socially rejected by those who know them best)? How do they treat their employees (exploitative tendencies)? Do they have a history of extra-marital affairs (callousness)? Are they very intelligent people who lose their temper whenever they see you (persistent irritability)? Do their longstanding employees or subordinates confirm the answer to the previous question as "yes"? Do they suddenly have no longstanding employees? How did they treat their daughter's previous husband (using people)? Do they pay taxes on all their income and assets? Do they have assets disproportionate to known sources of income (signs of a feeling or a belief that they can get away with anything)? Have they made absurd or unproveable allegations in their criminal complaint, which may rebound upon them (carelessness and stupidity)?
Have they systematically conspired to trap you in the 498a net (criminal mind)? Do they belong to some cult or exclusive club or Primary Social Group which looks down upon 'outsiders', and/or is secretive or mysterious (group narcissism)? What is the opinion of their close relatives about them (social rejects)? Did they invite all their close relatives to the wedding? Do they have a penchant for buying houses or car license plates with specific or special numbers or mobile telephones with specific or special numbers in order to create an aura of exclusivity around themselves (false aura of high status)? Do they pay peanuts to their employees but love to spend millions of rupees on luxury cars or luxury goods or branded items or expensive holiday packages (stupidity combined with exploitative and selfish tendencies)? Do they display (even the mildest) road rage tendencies (feeling of entitlement combined with short temper)? Do they get into parking related quarrels? Do they have a history of occupying space by bullying or beating up others (excessive territoriality)? Do they boast about their connections or their status (feeling of entitlement)? Do they like to surround themselves with sycophants (narcissistic supply)? Did anyone say to you in hindi about them "yeh kisi ke sagey nahi hain" "they are not faithful to anyone" (lack of respect for societal norms)? Are they rich, and 'earning' a lot of money? These days the situation in our country is so bad that usually a basic minimum requirement for becoming rich is to have a criminal mind.
There is a more than ninety percent chance that a person who suffers from one personality disorder suffers from two or three or four DSM Axis ii personality disorders, often one each from cluster A, cluster B, cluster C, and one not-specified. Personality disorders are not usually curable by medication. Some of them are treatable by talking to the patient about his or her problem. It is a cinch under Indian law to get divorce from personality disordered spouses because they are impossible to live with due to their psychiatric condition.
Who is the typical sufferer of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? It is the person who has a swollen ego. He or she thinks that he or she deserves special treatment. This thought occurs due to real or imagined special treatment experienced in life. He or she may have received special treatment in childhood or in teenage, and most commonly in youth because of physical appearance, position of self or of their father or mother, high rank, a lot of money, no experience of failure in life, or because of foolish members of the opposite gender who run after physical beauty, high rank or status, or money. He or she may never have suffered the negative consequences of poor academic performance or of plagiarising other people's ideas or of criminal behaviour. She or he may have escaped such negative consequences as a result of special or favourable treatment. It might be mentioned in passing that wives get special treatment at the CAW cell.
The thing about the NPD or AsPD sufferer is that he or she never goes to a psychiatrist voluntarily. The prognosis is also very poor for these disorders, which is to say that they are rarely curable without punishment, which is the best amongst methods of persuasion according to Lord Krishna in the Geeta.
If you are suffering from BPD, you may well be a NPD magnet. This is the same as saying that if you are needy, then you will run into selfish people all the time, because you will make even ordinary people feel special and needed all the time, giving them a swollen ego.
Another kind of wife at the CAW Cell is the one who makes a complaint because of oblique motives. Her reason for coming to the CAW cell is to get divorce from her husband who may be refusing it. When the husband sees the threat of a criminal case, he usually gives in and gives divorce. This is one simple way for wives to get divorce without the direct route of a divorce petition, which is the civil route, but via a criminal complaint. This is not the person for whom this law was made, but this person is fairly common. Legally speaking, she may deserve to be subjected to criminal charges.
Another related kind of 498a wife is the honest one who is willing to take the civil route to get divorce and compensation, but who is too poor to hire a lawyer and too ignorant to know that she can get free legal aid for her divorce case. Due to incorrect counselling by friends and relatives, and poor scrutiny at the CAW cell, she takes this route. Good luck to her too.
Another type of wife who makes such complaints is the one who has suffered cruelty, but not dowry related cruelty.
You may wish to read an article about signs that your marriage is finished and/or another article with questions for a narcissistic wife and/or an article about how to deal with getting dumped by your narcissistic wife.
Written by Manish Udar
Published by Manish Udar
page created on 19th February 2013
last updated on 03rd March 2015